To elope is not everyone’s cup of tea. Different couples will have different needs and desires and that’s ok. There’s no such thing as right or wrong when it comes to marry the love of your life, the rules are yours and yours alone so how can you know if an elopement fits you better than a traditional wedding?

1. Listen to your heart and shut down all the other voices inside your head

Like it or not, society plays a huge part on pretty much all our decisions and part of that society is also your own family and friends. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, however, when it comes to such a special day of your lives, it’s your own desires that must prevail above anything (and anyone) else.

It’s definitely a tricky thing to do. We are raised within all sorts of stereotypical ideas and marriage is not an exception. Since we are very young it is sold to us this idea that not only we need to marry in order for us to be “completed” but also that that wedding must be a huge party which might be someone’s cup of tea but for others it might feel like a nightmare.

Maybe you’re an introvert and being the center of all the attentions is really uncomfortable for you. Maybe you have a toxic family. Maybe your family awakes a lot of insecurities and trauma memories within you. Maybe you just want to enjoy your special day inside your own love bubble. Maybe you want to be free to do something crazy like hiking a mountain or jumping out of an airplane without feeling rushed or constantly worried about your guests and what they might think.

Or maybe you’re the complete opposite and can’t wait to have your big, fun, loud wedding day. It’s totally up to you but, whatever you choose, make sure to choose it from your heart and not from your head (and certainly not based on other people’s opinions).

2. Who comes to your mind when I ask you to think about the most important persons in your lives?

Throughout our entire lives we meet a lot of different people along the way and certainly all of them play a part in your story but, are they all equally important?

Are you inviting 300 people based on who you really deeply love and connect on a regular basis or are you just inviting people because your parents think you must, otherwise it will look bad?

Do you want a huge party with people that your other half don’t even know and that you might not have seen and spoke to for ages but they invited you for their wedding years ago and now you feel you owe them an invitation to yours or are you looking for something a bit more selective by inviting only those who play an active role in your life and in your relationship?

Sometimes we invite people for our life events just because we fear it will look bad if we don’t. It’s a societal constraint. But our wedding day is the day to be completely mindful and intentional about. You, your love and your story, deserve that. Deep intention.

3. How does it look like your dream day?

Not your dream wedding, but your dream day. Imagine you are given only 24 hours to live, how would you choose to spend it? Where? With whom? How does it look your perfect date?

You see, weddings are important but they usually come with such a huge planning and responsibility to others that it’s easy to forget what they really are about. It’s not the size of the party or the number of the guests, it’s about the intention. It’s about dreams, love and celebration. Deep connection and commitment.

So, how does your perfect dream day together looks like? Start from there and you’ll see how easy it is to determine if a small, intimate elopement fits you better than a tradicional wedding or not.

4. Budget: how important is it for you? Is it something you stress about?

Money is a hard topic for most people. We all need it but for some reason it’s still a taboo subject. It is important to determine not only how much you are comfortable spending on your wedding but also how important it is for you to stick to that budget or how flexible it can be.

This will easily help you determine your priorities. You will see how all of a sudden, as soon as you determine your overall budget, some things will clearly gain another perspective and importance. Some services/vendors you really don’t want to give up while others might not look that important anymore.

This perception will allow you to rate things based on importance which will clear the waters about what really is important for you on your wedding day.

So tell me, is an elopement wedding the right fit for your love story?

Hope this article has helped you gain more clarity about your options and deep desires for such a magical and unforgettable day.

See you in the next one!

Love,

Patrícia